New Beginnings
I haven't posted much lately. Sometimes it seems necessary to absorb and process events, and these last months have been like that for me. Our new home is surrounded by amazing beauty and tranquility, with nature abounding everywhere in full view of our windows.
This is the little mountain (the one in the foreground of the picture above), which we call 'Mt. Woofy', where Jazzy and I spent last summer together. Our loss of Jazzy, in spite of all our efforts, in spite that I promised her I'd protect her - well, it shows just how little we truly are. We can't promise anyone anything except our love and our very best effort, the rest is the whim of life. It's a hard, bitter lesson to know that ultimately we're constrained, either by our own shortcomings, our ignorance, or just simply by circumstances and sometimes silly, unnecessary things, that could in theory be changed so easily but are not.
No matter how hard we try, how perfect we might strive to become, there will always be the mystery and unknown of the future. This mystery can bring sorrow, but it can also bring surprise and depths of interest and intrigue we probably couldn't invent.
Taking advantage of the excitement of the unknown, I've been exploring new ways to create art. I've been experimenting with new ideas and ways of looking at things, delving into what it is I really want in an image; turning my old values upside down and inside out to discover new ways to express and to draw and paint. It's exciting, and daunting. I haven't found my way with the art yet, there's a lot to learn, but I'm moving closer.
I love stories, movement and above all a sweetness, that includes beauty, nobility, respect, and the innocence of goodness. These are the things that Jazzy brought into our lives. I'm experimenting with writing stories and I want my art to include elements of stories. I don't yet know how much. I think I also want them to include a character or personality of some kind to give expression to sheer joy, fun and mischief. In order to have more freedom of expression with my drawing and painting I need to learn a whole lot more, and that's what I'm working on now.
I want to communicate through my art the magic and wonder of sharing being alive, with love, vibrant and frivolous with the expectation of fun and joy. That's what was important to Jazzy (along with apple and banana!) and that's why everyone who came near her loved being around her.No matter how much I deliberate on it, I come back to the conclusion that what I think is important in life is living with wonder, joy, and fun, even in the face of fear and the unknown. This is my best conclusion, but I'm always interested in new ideas, new ways of looking at things. Do you have a different take on life and what's important to you? I'd love to hear your views.
© copyright 2007 - 2009 posted by DweezelJazz @ 1:35 PM
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8 Comments:
I only knew Jazzy through your blog and her story still breaks my heart.
Your creativity has taken a new exiting turn and I wish you the very best on your journey.
My take on life is that I will never be dealt more than I can handle. It may seem shocking, sad or even unmanageable at first but I know that I will get through it at the end. I also know that I'm responsible for my own happiness and that no one else can do it for me. Sure, I can get help and support on the way but in the end it's up to me. The great thing is that I can also share the happy things in my life and through that help others.
We as a family have had a few tough years, my husband has had a stroke among other things, but I can honestly say that the experience has also helped us to grow and become happier and more well balanced persons.How we deal with the challenged and changes that our lives provides us is very important when it comes to the quality of the lives that we live. Look for the good things, the fun and joy, and you'll find it not matter how dar things seems to be. =)
Hi Sanna,
Thank you so much for sharing your outlook and experience. I agree entirely with what you say and am very heartened and encouraged by it. Having friends near, even if not in distance, as I feel we are, in the sharing of our blogs, is also incredibly important. Thank you for your friendship and sharing.
I'm glad to hear that things are going better -- I was just about to e-mail you to make sure you were OK!
It's certainly not profound, but I've been making a conscious effort over the past few years to be a positive person. Dwelling on the negatives or worrying too much doesn't solve anything.
You did protect Jazzy. You could have let her suffer needlessly, but made the compassionate choice for her. She was so lucky to have found you guys.
Hi Mary,
I'm very touched, thank you - I've had the feeling you've been sending loving thoughts and support. It means more than I can easily express.
And thank you also for your kind reassuring words about Jazzy - it was so hard making that decision, and even though all logic says it was the correct thing to do, my heart wishes that we could turn back the clock and make something different happen successfully. But there it is, it seems it couldn't have been otherwise.
Making a conscious effort to be a positive person is incredibly profound. I too am trying to be that way.
Hi. My apologies as I had been neglecting my blogging circle for a while. Sometimes we need to move away a bit but as someone once related, life can be related to waves and rubberbands. There are ups and downs and sometimes we need to stretch out but will eventually be pulled back by those that we hold dear.
My heart aches for for the loss of Jazzy. Your blog entries about her antics have enthralled me.
I try not to take too many things for granted. Those that seem insignificant may be the very things that others may desire. Oft we don't stop to "smell the roses" and miss out on the beauty that surrounds us. Photography to me is one way to take time to look for those simple things that we tend to overlook.
Your photos and paintings are an inspiration and I must thank you for sharing your joys and passion for the arts.
I'm not much of a rambler but I hope i have shared a view or two on what's on my mind.
Best & warmest wishes,
Lim
Hi Lim,
Thank you for your very kind thoughts. I'm very happy to hear from you again and have missed you. It's true, sometimes life takes us on different paths and ways, but friendship doesn't stray, and I did always feel that. It seems that once friends have made contact, time or absence doesn't diminish it. Thank you for that.
You live like kings! Through out your windows I see what I've always been dreaming of for myself... maybe... one day? We live in Amsterdam, yet, whenever possible hit the road looking for adventure. Mostly in the challenging landscapes of mountains. We're new to bloggers' community but find it great to this way make friends with people all over the world. I've also seen your husband's blog, both are very interesting. Greetings to you and Jasmine from Amsterdam, Holland!
Kasia
http://www.kasia-and-florian.com/
Hello Kasia,
it's very nice to meet you, and thank you for dropping by DweezelJazz blog. Yes, it's very beautiful in this part of the world. I can see from your blog that you like to visit pretty places too. :)
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